I'm really not that into you, Christmas.

Hello Love Junkies,

With the countdown to Christmas officially speeding toward the merry day, I suppose I should get my ass off the crazy-train and get into the Spirit.  It's been a long year and I usually enjoy the fervour of the season.

My fake pre-lit tree is up, but without one decoration it looks pretty but bland.  No cookies are baked.  The turkey is frozen in the freezer.  The boxes of decorations are stacked on top of each other behind the couch.  The cat occasionally strolls by the boxes and tugs at decorations; grazing on the fake tree garland before puking it back up on the kitchen tiles.  Thanks.  I have not bought any gifts either.  Not. One. Single. Gift.  Thanks to my crazy relatives, there are piles of gifts for the small people in the house.  The cat might even have one under there.  I guess it may be true:

This year I'm really not that into you, Christmas. 

This week is my office Christmas pot-luck lunch.  Like an idiot, in retrospect, I was the jolly idea-giver to have the potluck rather than a luncheon out at somewhere where you can never make everyone happy.  It was a tradition we used to do at my old office and you can usually make most people happy with it as they show off their spouses-hard-earned cooking skills.  Of course, I am now wondering how I am going to tote a crock-pot of cocktail meatballs first on a packed train and then on a packed bus in the morning rush en route to dropping the kidlet at daycare. Hmmm.

I am feeling a bit 1) guilty about not getting any gifts (yet...I'm assured there's still time) and 2) liberated from the gluttony of the season.  I watch with amusement the crazy-eyed shoppers paying top dollar for "this year's toy" or a sweater for granny.  I'm sure she'll love it.

So I've come up with a 5-day Christmas Plan:

1) Monday - buy the stuff for your meatballs and lettuce canoes tonight, dummy. Stock up the house with Bailey's & wine.
2) Tuesday - assemble the meatballs & canoes.  Tote EMPTY crock-pot on mass-transit.  I think that by toting an empty crock I will avoid what could be a guaranteed disaster.
3) Wednesday - Bring the meatballs & canoes in ziplock containers.  Heat at work and enjoy the day.  Could be a good night to slip out to get a couple of gifts.  Wrestle crock-pot back on mass-transit.  Buy more wine.
4) Thursday - More shopping, if needed. Thaw the bird. Get Christmas dinner groceries. 
5) Friday - Wrap. Buy more wine. Office closes early, so there will be more time for wine!  Bake the Santa cookies.  Eat them immediately after Kidlet-bedtime.

So my plan seems like more of a call-to-duty than genuine Spirit, but I'm ok with that.  I'm assured that "faking it" once and awhile is normal.  As long as I don't fuck-up taking the bird out of the freezer, I'm pretty sure everything else will work out.  I've requested books for Christmas. The Kidlet is getting Lego.  There's lots of wine on the list to get me through.  Hmmm...now that I read it back I think I'm actually pretty normal!

I'm not sure what it is about this time of year that makes everyone crazy.  Especially people that I am related to.  I received a bizarre message from my father last week.  I suppose it's fairly safe to say that I won't be calling him back anytime soon.  Every time I let this person into my life just a little bit, he just shows up with disappointment in hand.  Enough.  No more.  I'm not going to pretend that I want a relationship with this person.  I just don't. Period.  Same goes with my brother.  He's more fucked-up than anyone else I know and I can see quite clearly where he gets it from.  Both alike they are.  More on this twitchy topic later.

Enjoy your day my little Elves.
-Lola